Flabbergasted
by 2NiCe4U
Summary: A series of encounters between Severus Snape and Hermione Granger that leave one or both parties, well, flabbergasted.
1. Bogey

Flabbergasted

A/N: This is just a series of interactions between Severus Snape and Hermione Granger which leave one or both parties, well, flabbergasted (which means shocked).

Part 1: Bogey

Professor Severus Snape made his way swiftly through the potions classroom, checking cauldrons every now and then to make sure they weren't liable to explode in the next few minutes. He had had a trying day already, and it was only almost noon. After a cold shower (not by his choice), no time for breakfast, and a noisy fight in the hallway outside his classroom (that he was a casualty of before it broke up), He was ready for his Seventh year Potions class to be over with. The only good thing about the situation was that only the students with more than half a brain for potions was allowed to continue on to Advanced Potions. Because of this, there were only eleven students from all the houses combined. This made it his smallest and least taxing class.

Someone was obviously out to get him, though, as this class was not about to go by without something vexing him. Five minutes before the class was to end, the notorious Hermione Granger, Head Girl and resident know-it-all, decided to raise her hand. He briskly walked over to stand in front of her, wanting to get this confrontation over with.

"What is it, Miss Granger?" He asked, grudgingly.

"Bogey." At this one word, Severus halted in preparing a scathing retort. 'What? Did the chit just say what he thought she did?'

"What?" He spat out, not sure if he wanted to know what she was talking about. He heard some muffled giggling coming from the other work spaces and gave a circulating glare before turning back to Miss Granger.

"You, er, have a bogey, hanging just…there." She nervously replied, pointing to a spot on her own face as to indicate where it was on his. For a second, Severus didn't know what to do. Again, the thought, 'Did she really just say that?' ran through his head. Not knowing what to do, he abruptly turned and headed towards his desk, subtly swiping at the implicated spot on his face where the infamous bogey was sure to be. Thankfully, just as soon as he sat in his desk, composing himself enough to face his students, it was time for them to leave. Each placed their completed potion on the corner of his desk and left. The last one to leave was Miss Granger. She placed her potion on the desk and was headed towards the door when he called her name. She turned around and reluctantly approached his desk, still brave enough to look him in the eye.

At this time, he didn't know whether to strangle her for his embarrassment, or thank her for preventing future embarrassment with students much less mature. He decided to compromise. "Ten points from Gryffindor." She huffed and started towards the door. "And thank you." He said this last part quietly, but not too quiet for her to not hear it. She turned from her place at the door, a little surprised, but nodded and walked out, most likely heading towards lunch. His stomach grumbled, and he decided that getting his own lunch wouldn't be amiss. Thinking back on all his other interactions with the know-it-all, this had to be the oddest.

Stay tuned for the next chapter: Chest


	2. Chest

Flabbergasted

A/N: I hope you liked the first chapter! I love reviews!

Part 2: Chest

Hermione Granger hastened as fast as she could without breaking Rule 57 in the Official Hogwarts Handbook on running in the hallways. She passed the library without a glance, to the surprise of several lollygagging students making their way up to the Gryffindor tower. Several Slytherins reluctantly made way for the Head Girl as she passed through the dungeons. Finally, she stopped in front of a nondescript door and caught her breath before knocking.

No one answered. She knocked again.

After a minute or two of knocking, the door was abruptly opened.

"Merlin's saggy bum! Albus, I said I'd talk to you about it tomor…oh…" Hermione found herself standing in front of a partially undressed Professor Severus Snape, chest heaving. Bare chest heaving. She couldn't stop staring. It was just as pale as his face, the veins showing pale blue through the skin. His abdomen looked firm, and his nipples were a pale pink…

Hermione mentally shook herself. She never would have believed anyone if they told her a day ago that she would see her professor in such undress. Looking at the level she should have when he first opened the door, she noticed that his cheeks had flushed a little, and the tint of pink continued on down his neck to his…Oh, no. She wasn't going there again.

"Hold on." He said gruffly, his cheeks still lightly tinted as he shut the door a bit too hard. Hermione jumped a little at the sound. Soon enough, it opened again, and this time, Professor Snape had a housecoat wrapped around his torso. "Yes, Miss Granger?"

"I'm sorry sir, for interrupting your, er, personal time, it's just…Here is the Head's report." She quickly handed him a sheaf of papers, which he took and glanced over. "I know you like things on time, and I'm sorry that it wasn't ready until today."

"Very well." He finally looked up from the papers, giving her a calculating look, as though trying to gauge whether she would tell anyone of this incident. She supposed he was satisfied that she wouldn't, and nodded to her.

"'Night, Granger." He muttered, before closing the door.

"Goodnight sir." She, of course said this to the door. Turning, she headed slowly back to her Head Girl room. She thought back to what happened and chuckled when she thought of the expressions on the boys faces if she ever told them that Professor Snape had a bit of chest hair.

Stay tuned for the next chapter: Food


	3. Food

Disclaimer: I only own the plot.

Flabbergasted

Part 3: Food

Severus Snape glared at anyone who had the potential to be in his way as he stomped gracefully towards the kitchens. The old codger still treated him as his little messenger boy. Not even a glorified messenger boy. And this was the second time in a row that the house elves had burned the staff's food. Naturally the Headmaster would send him to find out what was going on. The last time, he had gotten no where, what with the elves apologizing and punishing themselves every other second.

He glanced around, making sure that no one would see him doing something as undignified as tickle a pear. Before he could make it all the way into the kitchen, he ran into someone. And they weren't elf-sized, either.

Sitting up from the floor, he sputtered before wiping at the substance that had been mashed into his face in the collision, and which was now dripping down onto his immaculate robes. Whoever did this was going to get a detention!

When his eye-lids were wiped off enough for him to open them, he found himself staring into the face of the resident Head Girl, wild hair and all. She at least didn't have some as of yet unidentifiable substance dripping from her face, which allowed him to clearly see the surprise and worry scrawled across it. She was right to be afraid.

"Detention, Miss Granger, for not watching where you are going. And what, may I ask, are you doing in the kitchens?" He thought it was a relatively easy answer, but her eyes shifted guiltily, and his narrowed. "Well? Are you going to tell me now, or would you rather I use Veritaserum?" He waited patiently, but she still did not talk, her cheeks tingeing a little pink. He motioned for a house elf to come over.

"Tell me, what was Miss Granger doing in the kitchens?" He asked silkily, eyes warning the wrinkly little creature not to lie to him.

"Mistress is…helping the house elves, Sir." The elf stuttered. Severus raised an eyebrow. The Head Girl was helping the house elves? He'd heard of S.P.E.W., but thought she'd dropped it after her feeble results.

"And how, exactly, is Miss Granger helping the house elves?" He drawled, pinning the shaking house elf with his gaze.

"She is…she is helping with the food, Master Snape, Sir." The elf's eyes were wide, his hands fidgeting with the corner of his uniform. "She is making the teacher's food, Sir." His voice squeaked at the end. Severus turned, his gaze all astonishment and realization as he stared at the young woman, who shifted nervously.

"And why, Miss Granger, are you making the staff's food? Trying to poison us, or slip a few potions in? Making us suffer through burnt food and letting the house elves take the blame? How ungryffindor of you…" He couldn't finish, as she interrupted him.

"I didn't do that for any of those reasons!" She said indignantly. "It's just…the house elves are down her working morning and night…and, well, I thought they could use a break or a holiday or something, but none of them would take one, so I decided to help so there was less work for them to do."

"Miss Granger, that is ridiculous. What you are doing is just making them do more work, as they have to fix the abysmal concoctions that you created. If I weren't so sure of your proficiency in potions, I would have thought Longbottom to be the one making our meals. Now do us all a favor and get out of here." He watched the girl pick herself up and go, her posture drooping a little as she let herself out of the portrait hole.

Severus grabbed the damp towel a nearby elf handed him with a nod of thanks and wiped the muck off his face. He wondered when she would realize that he had just given her a complement, something Severus Snape, evil Potions Master of the dungeons, never gave to a Gryffindor.

Next Chapter: Detention


	4. Detention

Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine, Sorry.

Flabbergasted

Part 4: Detention

Hermione dragged her feet, wishing to be heading anywhere else. She'd almost take another flying lesson over this, and that was saying something. She'd never had detention with Professor Snape, but had heard the many gruesome stories that came from the unlucky Gryffindors who had. When they heard of her situation, some shook her hand as if she wouldn't be coming back.

On her way, she couldn't stop the maudlin thoughts that infiltrated her head, making her wonder if she was to be scrubbing cauldrons all night with a toothbrush, or pickling rat brains. Neither sounded appealing. Sighing, she finally reached her destination and knocked on the plain but foreboding door.

"Enter." A stern voice sounded from the other side, and she obeyed instantly, not wanting to get on the cranky man's nerves more than usual. She saw his seated at his desk, making his way through some poor student's essay. She could barely see the untidy black scrawl through the violent slashing lines of red.

He finally looked up, studying her for a minute, before standing and walking past her, towards the door she had just entered.

"Follow me." With that, she watched the edge of his robes sweep out the door, before hurrying to follow. She guessed that this detention was going to involve collecting ingredients. Not as bad as cauldron scrubbing, she supposed. After following her professor for a while, she was surprised when he passed by the stairs leading towards the first floor of Hogwarts. Instead, she followed him down the well-known path to the kitchens.

He stopped in front of the portrait and gestured for her to open it, and she tried to keep a straight face when she thought fleetingly what Professor Snape would look like tickling the pear. Obligingly, she rubbed her finger in the right place, extracting a faint giggle from the fruit. The portrait door opened, and she followed the potions master in.

She followed him to a corner where the elves weren't busy cleaning up from dinner, and watched as he pulled down a large pot from a cabinet to the side of the stove. He gestured for an elf to come over, and muttered a few things in its ear. Hermione shifted nervously, wondering what was going to happen. Surely he didn't make students pickle rat brains in the kitchen? Her professor pulled out a cutting board and knife and set both on the counter beside the stove. By that time, three elves had brought over some items, which included potatoes, ham, celery, and cheese. They set the items on the counter next to the cutting board and promptly left.

"Now, Miss Granger, do you remember how to cut the verilian root used in the sleeping draught?" Professor Snape asked her, pulling a few sticks of celery onto the cutting board. All Hermione could do was nod, unsure, and shocked at what she thought might be happening. Professor Snape was going to…teach her how to cook? "You may begin." He continued, gesturing at the cutting board. She immediately obeyed, still wondering if this was a joke.

Around forty-five minutes later, she was putting the final touches onto a delicious smelling potato soup, her professor guiding her the whole way. When finished, he ladled soup into two bowls and sprinkled cheese on top, handing one to her before heading towards a small table in the corner. After a brief hesitation, she followed, sitting across from him.

She fixed her eyes on her soup, not knowing (for once) what to say. At his cleared throat she looked up, meeting his eyes. "Now that you know how closely cooking and brewing potions is, I very much hope there will not be anymore burnt meals at the staff table." It was not a question, but she nodded anyways.

"I…ah…thank you for teaching me how to make the soup, and for teaching me that my school lessons can be applied in domestic things." He nodded, finishing his soup.

"I trust you will be in your room before curfew?" To this she nodded again, and, with that, he stood and left the kitchen.

The boys would never have guessed in a million years what she had done for her detention, and it would stay a mystery, if she had anything to say about it. She ate the rest of her soup with relish before making her way back to her Head Girl room, thinking that a detention with Professor Snape was definitely preferable over a flying lesson any day.

Next Chapter: Bad Weather


	5. Bad Weather

Disclaimer: I only own the plot.

Flabbergasted

Part 5: Bad Weather

A storm was brewing above Hogwarts. Hermione could smell it in the air on her way to Herbology that morning. Her hair practically crackled from the excitement (or was that just the charge in the air?). If there was one thing Hermione Granger loved to watch, it was lighting storms.

People flying around on brooms and getting hurt was nothing to the thrill and slight danger of standing outside in a storm where bolts of electrical energy struck so swiftly as to only leave a faint imprint of it in the mind's eye. Hermione grinned at the thought of sitting in the astronomy tower as the thunder cracked in her ears. No one else would be crazy enough to go up there in a storm as bad as this one was promising to be.

When night came, Hermione glanced out of her bedroom window (She had her own bedroom now, as she was Head Girl.) and grinned to see that she was not disappointed. The dark clouds were roiling in the sky like slow moving ocean waves, and flashes of lightning could be seen in the distance, thunder echoing faintly. She had borrowed Harry's map, deciding that she wouldn't need the invisibility cloak as well. Harry was very stingy when it came to that. The boys had just looked at her incredulously, before shaking their heads, when she told them what she planned to do that evening.

Hermione scoffed to herself. How was watching a lightning storm more ludicrous than flying on a thin stick in the air? She supposed if she put the two together, it would be quite dangerous, but really.

The castle seemed to look more gloomy than usual with the natural light swiftly darkening, and the torches slightly sputtering, even with the windows closed. Hermione didn't let this daunt her though. She had done this many times before.

Finally, she had reached her destination, a corner of the astronomy tower where she could watch the events in the sky without getting drenched in the downpour. She folded the apparently nondescript piece of parchment in her hand after whispering a 'Mischief managed' and sat down.

It didn't take long for the storm to really pick up, and Hermione watched in wide-eyed and silent awe as spider webs danced across the dark grey sky, and thunder roared through the tower. This had to be one of the best shows she'd ever seen.

All of a sudden, the lightning illuminated a figure that hadn't been noticed by Hermione before, and she shrieked in terror. Another flash revealed it to be none other than Professor Snape, a disgruntled look on his face. She gulped before slowly standing to face him.

"What, may I ask, are you doing up here, Granger?" The question would not have been heard for its quietness if there had not been a break between thundering.

"I was, er, enjoying the show, sir." She replied, deciding that honesty would be best in this case. There was no way he would believe she had gotten lost. The thought of what his reaction might be if she said that almost made her smile, but she dared not to, and bravely looked the man in the eye, waiting for the inevitable punishment.

"Miss Granger, no doubt you know of the danger one could be in for being in such proximity to a lightning storm. Therefore, I will give you two detentions, one for being out past curfew, and another for putting yourself in a dangerous situation. Am I clear in the fact that I do not wish to see you here again?"

She nodded, and left at his gesturing hand. He stayed a few minutes more, in order to fully appreciate something he had never thought to be so beautiful before.

Next Chapter: Paper Cut


	6. Paper Cut

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of this story. Too bad.

Flabbergasted

Part 6: Paper Cut

She wouldn't have been any the wiser, if he hadn't have made a slight hiss of sound. At that noise, she had looked up to see a most unusual sight.

Severus Snape was looking at his finger in consternation. He then surprised her more by sticking it in his mouth. By now, her own mouth was hanging open in shock, and it was at that moment that he noticed her staring.

He blinked, before pulling his finger out with a slight 'pop' and glaring. Hermione obligingly finished the potion she was making for her detention punishment.

Bringing the finished product to his desk, she noticed that it was a paper cut he was nursing a while ago, and that he was trying to ignore it. She dug into her school bag and pulled out a couple band aids, placing them on his desk before leaving. She didn't see the surprised look on his face as she walked out the door.

Sitting at dinner, she noticed the little strip of color wrapped around the Potions Master's finger, and tried with all her might not to grin. She couldn't hold back a chuckle though, as she heard the Headmaster exclaim how delightful "that Muggle contraption" was.

Next Chapter: Lashes


	7. Lashes

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot, sadly.

Flabbergasted

Part 7: Lashes

Hermione stared, blinked, then stared some more. Amazing. Never in her life had she seen eye lashes as long as those. And it was on _that_ face. _That_ man.

Surely she should have noticed earlier, like maybe first year?

She snorted quietly to herself. The man had done everything in his power the last six and a half years to be the meanest professor at the school. It was no wonder she didn't realize he had gorgeous lashes.

So, why was she noticing them now?

Well part of the reason could be the fact that the war was now over, and the Potions Master had toned down a bit on his scathing replies. She knew he could be different, as she had had many a meeting with him due to her being Head Girl and all this year.

Maybe she was changing as well. Now that she wasn't worried about saving her friend from a powerful dark wizard, she could pick up the social life she had neglected long ago.

Social life? Hah!

More likely the reason was some stunted hormones making their belated appearance. What else could explain the new fascination she found in the delicate bridge of _that_ man's nose, or how his lips were really quite nice when not pulled into a sneer?

Hermione shook her head in vain, as the thoughts she tried to dislodge clung like a parasite to her overactive brain. The man's eyes really were wonderfully dark, and she could notice that aspect even better now that they were a foot from her face. Wait…huh?

Hermione blinked, and realized that the potions master really was only a foot away, waiting for her to come out of her trance. Her face heated at record speed.

"Now that Miss Granger has decided to rejoin the class, I would like you to bottle a sample of whatever…" He sneered down at Neville's cauldron, which looked to be full of goopy grey tar. "…Substance you managed to concoct today, and set it on my desk, neatly labeled. That goes for you as well, Weasley. I don't read chicken scratch."

Hermione knew exactly what Ron's handwriting looked like, having been the corrector of many essays he wrote. It was harder than deciphering ancient runes at times. She winced at the thought that Professor Snape had to grade all of those essays.

"Once that is done, you can leave and begin working on the two foot essay about the next potion we will be doing. Due two days from now." Almost everyone groaned quietly about this, except Hermione, of course. Professor Snape smirked, and Hermione thought how even that was charming in its own way.

Hermione took her perfectly brewed potion to the front, stopping on the way to help Neville scrape some of the quickly congealing potion from the bottom of his cauldron and into his vial. Well, at least Neville's handwriting was legible.

She placed her vial on her professor's desk and turned to collect her things. When finished, she realized that the classroom was empty of everyone but her and the professor. The boys had probably escaped quickly so they could have time on the Quiddich pitch before she cracked down on them about the potions essay.

She noticed that her professor was looking at her, her vial of potion in his hand.

"Satisfactory, as usual, Miss Granger." His smooth voice sounded louder than it usually was, in the silence of the dungeon classroom.

All Hermione could do for a few seconds was digest the fact that her potions professor had actually complemented her, as she watched those eyelashes move hypnotically up and down over his eyes. Finally mentally kicking herself out of her daze, she nodded and left the classroom, hoping the man didn't see the blush that now stained her cheeks.

This was no time to get a crush. There were Newts in two months time!

Next Chapter: Laugh


	8. Laugh

Disclaimer: I only own the plot…unfortunately.

Flabbergasted

Part 8: Laugh

Hermione sat primly on the edge of her seat, looking down at all the students.

To put it lightly, she was nervous. Nervous about whether the children would like her, nervous about whether the teachers would like her, nervous about the new ideas she had yet to propose the Headmaster about the content of her lessons, nervous about whether her hair looked alright…just nervous.

It was the Welcoming Feast, and from her place at the staff table, she could see the curious glances from the occasional student. Only the Fifth through Seventh Years would know her from school, but no doubt her reputation as the Brains behind the Golden Trio had reached the four corners of the Wizarding World. What must they think of her now?

After the Sorting Hat did its business, and the children were digging into the bounteous feast Hermione allowed herself to relax and help herself to some of it as well. She made sure to make no mistakes while eating, knowing that she could be scrutinized at any time, and wanted her 'best foot forward.'

All of a sudden, while eating some mashed potatoes, a larger than normal hand came down on her back and caused her to squeak in surprise. She looked up to see Hagrid grinning down at her.

"Good ter see yer back home, 'Mione." He fairly boomed in his thick accent. A steady blush rose to her cheeks as she felt the stare of many upon them, but she offered a ready smile in return.

The half-giant lumbered back to his seat (or seats, as he needed three) at the end of the table, and Hermione fanned herself with a napkin. She glanced around to see whether everyone was still staring, and found no gaze but the resident potion master's upon her. He had an odd expression on his face, one that held her stare. All of a sudden, a full out guffaw escaped his lips, and Hermione almost felt she was hearing things. The slightly red tint on his face from such an outburst proved it was not so.

"Miss Granger." Minerva McGonagall called her attention from the seat beside her. The normally stern woman's lips twitched. "Welcome back to Hogwarts. You may want to use the napkin you are holding on your nose."

Mortified, Hermione did so, and found that a smear of mashed potatoes ended up on it. She had to reign in the impulse to run from the table in embarrassment. What an auspicious way to start her first year as History of Magic teacher.

Next Chapter: Mistletoe

A/N: Yep, I couldn't miss the opportunity to write up something for the holidays, so another more festive chapter will be put up in the next day or so! Please review! Thanks!


	9. Mistletoe

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I only own the plot.

A/N: Merry Christmas everyone! This chapter is a bit longer than most in this series. My present to you! Hopefully it will brighten your holidays!

Flabbergasted

Part 9: Mistletoe

Severus grumbled to himself. Didn't the kids know there was a curfew for a reason? He stormed down the corridor, ready to throw the next pair of randy teenagers into the snow outside. He also kept an eye out for any trickery that could be happening.

Every year during the Christmas break some persnickety little snot that lived to get on his nerves would stay at the school instead of going home to pester his own parents. The troublemaker would then decide to prank the Potions Master to no end, thinking that it would be amusing, and that the punishment would be lighter since classes had ended for the year.

'Far from it,' Severus thought to himself, allowing an evil smirk to slide across his face. He always caught the student by the time the break was over with, and had the irritating child scrubbing cauldrons while his other friends cheerily welcomed the rest of the rambunctious group back from the train.

Severus scowled as he thought back on some of the pranks. One bold Seventh Year managed to cast a jelly-legs jinx on him one year. He imagined the boy was still having nightmares of him.

The Potions Master was too caught up in his reminiscing to notice the subtle hint of green that overhung his path. He was warned of it too late, as he found he could go no further down the corridor. His scowl growing deeper, he glanced around for the cause, and soon noticed the innocent-looking piece of mistletoe hanging from above. 'Innocent, my arse,' He thought to himself.

He knew nothing good would come of the Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes Christmas Collection. Of course cursed mistletoe would be just the thing for the grumpy Potions Master. He'd heard the kids joke about how a snog (or more) might cure him of his acid personality, at least for a while.

Studying the mistletoe and casting a few jinxes at it turned out to be more a hindrance than a help. Severus soon found himself with a long black beard and Santa hat, the mistletoe untouched. He had to admit, if only to himself, that the Weasley twins were quite clever. He knew without trying, that the Santa hat would not come off for a long while, and that he might be stuck in the corridor for longer.

He heard a soft chuckle, and turned sharply to his left, ready to rebuke and insult the insufferable child to pieces, only to find it was not a child, but the newest addition to the Hogwarts staff.

"Miss Granger," He drawled, regaining his composure, "So nice to see that I could amuse you this holiday season." He bowed mockingly.

"It was not _I_ looking for amusement in this corridor, but _it_ has found me. How many points have you taken from Gryffindor alone this evening?" The young woman had the nerve to rejoin boldly.

Severus brushed some invisible lint from his robe, and treated her with a smirk. "Forty, so far, but I'm hoping that number will at least double by the end of the night." To this, the woman shook her head, but a faint smile could be seen.

"I suppose you don't believe in generosity during the holiday season, Professor Snape?" To this, the man's smirk became more pronounced.

"I am always willing to be generous during the holiday season, Professor Granger. This time last month I would have only deducted twenty points so far." This brought a huff from the other teacher, and whether it was a laugh or scoff, neither knew.

He saw that she was examining his hat and beard with interest. "You seem to have gotten into quite a predicament. Is there any way I can help?"

Gob smacked, but trying not to show it, Severus observed her innocent stare. This woman really was a true-blooded Gryffindor. Teasing the Potions Master was definitely not on just anyone's 'To Do' list. He answered her anyway, determined that he should not appear weak or daunted at the fact that he was stuck under mistletoe.

"Those blasted Weasley twins are still making mischief around here, and they left ages ago. I'll make sure to send my…regards to them personally."

Professor Granger chuckled again. "Those two were probably making mischief in their mother's belly. I have no idea how she kept track of them before they blew up the house or something, growing up. Molly is the true definition of Wonder Woman. I don't know how much you'll get out of visiting them, other than a bit more humiliation. They have gotten quite good at their products."

She examined the mistletoe closely. "I remember them telling me when I last visited about this product. Its name is Intractable Mistletoe, as it won't let you go until you've had a proper kiss. If you try to jinx it, or the like, it will add to your appearance, and you will have to be kissed for every jinx laid on the plant. I see that you will need at least three, and I will be willing to give them, if, and only if, you rescind the points you've taken from my House and promise not to take anymore until tomorrow night, when Christmas is over."

Severus stared at her for a few seconds. The woman was willing to kiss him three times? Just to take a measly bit of points back that would most likely be won again within the next week or so? He discretely gave her a once over. Definitely not bad on the eyes. In fact, he could almost say Christmas had come early. Not that he had delighted in imagining her kisses or even thinking of receiving them, before now. Absolutely not...

"Deal," He said, before she could have second thoughts. "Though I won't give the points back until you've fulfilled your part of the bargain and have me freed of this insufferable plant."

She gave her hand to shake on it, but he had other things in mind. He grasped the proffered hand and pulled her close, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Now, how about that proper kiss, Professor Granger," He drawled, enjoying her surprised expression. He bent low, so that there was a minimal space between their lips, waiting for her to engage them. She did so, her arms snaking up and around his neck, as her lips molded to his.

She was tentative at first, and he didn't grudge her it. He felt a bit out of sorts, himself. Never had he felt such a jolt of feeling from a single touch. It was empowering and weakening at the same time, and he supposed that he had found his Achilles' heel.

Then her lips started moving.

Severus Snape did not shudder. Neither did he clutch at anyone. He also didn't…moan.

All three notions were proven faulty within the subsequent minutes.

They finally broke away to gasp, and both noticed that his three foot long beard was gone.

"One down, two to go." Severus eyed the woman as she said this, noting the eager gleam in her eyes. He gulped. She smirked at him before tugging him down for another taste of what he could truly label paradise. He actually felt his toes curl this time, not that he would ever tell anyone.

They broke away minutes later, gasping once again, and Severus was almost reluctant for the final kiss which would end her side of the bargain. Almost as reluctant as he was impatient for it. Professor Granger pulled off the Santa hat, that was, by then, quite askew on his head, and tossed it somewhere behind her. It seemed that her gaze had gone from eager to predatory, and he gulped once again.

Was he about to be taken advantage of? Most likely. Did he want to be taken advantage of? Most definitely!

She stole his breath as she stole his ability to think about anything other than her lips, her hands, her, her, her. Never had he been so fully overwhelmed, and willingly so.

They finally parted from their third and final kiss, and a bittersweet feeling almost beset him. Would he ever get to experience such bliss again?

He separated himself from her, and straightened his robes, unconsciously shrugging on the Potions Master persona once again. "I suppose you have earned forty points back to Gryffindor, Professor Granger," He acknowledged stiffly. She smiled at him.

"I think it might be more proper for you to address me as Hermione from now on, _Severus_." She closed the gap between them for one last brief kiss before turning down the corridor to resume her duties. Severus felt he couldn't move for several seconds as he processed what had just gone on. A slow smile began to bloom on his face as hope fluttered in his heart. Maybe there was a chance…

The usually grumpy Potions Master chuckled a bit to himself as he glanced out a nearby window to the falling snow. This just might be a pleasant Christmas after all.

A/N: I hope you all liked it! I know I did! Merry Christmas, and make sure to review!

Next Chapter: Pudding


	10. Pudding

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. I just manipulate them.

A/N: Hey everyone, I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been really busy lately, and that busyness is going to continue, but I'll endeavor to update sooner than I have been! Thank you so much for all the reviews! I love feedback, and will be very happy if this continues!

Flabbergasted

Part 10: Pudding

Severus kept looking at her. He couldn't help it. It felt as though every time she was in the same room as him, he could feel her presence there, more than he could sense the rest of the crowd. And there were more than a few people at dinner tonight, with all the students back from holiday. Tomorrow, classes would resume.

Never mind that right now. Severus took another of what he hoped to be discreet glances down the staff table. His position afforded him an almost clear view of Professor Granger. Thank heavens Hagrid always sat at the end of the table. In fact, he could see her chuckling along with the half-giant just now.

Severus forced himself to look away. No need to make his…problem…obvious to the others. He concentrated on eating his food for a few minutes.

Dessert arrived, and he wondered what kind she fancied, but resisted looking to see, at least for a few minutes. He engaged in the small talk around him, trying to distract himself. It wouldn't work. He looked over at her as Filius Flitwick rambled on about a strange charm he encountered one day, and all notion of attention on anything else was gone.

He felt his eyes go hot as he watched the woman lick pudding from her spoon. How she could turn as innocent a notion as eating food into something highly erotic, he had no idea. He couldn't tear his eyes away this time.

After her spoon was empty, she scooped a bit more onto it, and brought it back to her mouth. Severus shifted in his chair as he watched her pink tongue lick the pudding from her spoon. Mid-lick, her eyes met his gaze, and he almost whimpered, both from how desirable she looked, and how embarrassing this was turning out to be. No doubt she could see the want on his face, even halfway down the table. No matter. To his shock, she continued to lick the rest of the confection from her spoon, and then smiled cheekily at him afterwords.

Heart pounding, he watched her push away from the table and walk out the doors of the dinning hall. He was half a mind to chase after, but, before he could, Filius asked him about some experimental potions he was working on. Disappointed, but not showing, Severus talked with the short man, wishing with all his might that he was somewhere else. He needed to show Professor Granger the consequence of igniting his desire.

Next Chapter: Nook


	11. Nook

Disclaimer: The characters of this story are owned by J. K. Rowling. Lucky woman.

A/N: Thanks everyone for the continuing reviews. Like I said, I'll try to update more often, so here is another chappie! I love reviews, so don't be bashful, and enjoy!

Flabbergasted

Part 11: Nook

Hermione walked down the aisle, fingers trailing over the ledges, and every now and then tucking a precariously placed book snugly back into its spot on the shelf. It was early morning, much too early on a Saturday for students to be hanging out in the library, and she was taking advantage of it. Finding a book she'd never read (the list was growing shorter daily, since her return to Hogwarts), she turned and spotted a table dappled with light, dust motes floating lazily through the illuminated beams. Sitting herself down, she basked in the warmth, a sure sign that spring was soon to come.

Engrossed as she was, she didn't notice that someone was approaching until too late. With a muffled squeak, she was dragged unceremoniously into one of the various nooks in the library, her book falling to the floor. Looking up to her captor's face, she saw two glinting eyes examining her. Huffing, she pulled her wrists away from Severus Snape's hands and placed them on her hips.

"If you wanted to talk, you could've just asked, instead of risk damaging library property." She gestured at the unfortunate book lying on the ground.

"The book is fine. I felt an urgent need to speak to you, and I think you know why. You've been avoiding me, so I assumed the only way you would bother talking to me would be by being forced to." His smirk belied his gruff tone, showing that he wasn't too annoyed.

Hermione had indeed been avoiding the man, not knowing what to think about her recent interactions with him. She hoped he didn't expect an explanation, as she was in no way inclined to give one. "I've been busy fixing the syllabus for the next half of the school year. I'm new at this, so you can't expect me to be done so soon."

Severus scoffed, "You probably had the new syllabus fit to use by your second month here, if not within your second week." Hermione's cheeks turned a bit red at this. She had indeed finished the last touches to the new class schedule not a month and a half after school started.

"There's always room for improvement, especially dealing with education." She replied primly, trying to keep up the façade of busyness, but she could tell from his growing smirk that Severus wasn't buying it.

"I hear nothing but excuses coming from your mouth," His gaze was a bit more intent than usual, as it slid down her face to her lips, and she drew a sharp breath. The breath was held as he bent closer to whisper in her ear. "I'm sure there are better things I could get to come out of there, _Hermione_."

The held breath was let loose in a timely fashion, corresponding with the sharp sound of a slap. Hermione left the aggravating but enticing man behind, his shock echoing through the library. She paused before turning the corner and decided that a parting shot was in order. She always did like to have the last word. "You know, a bit of color on your face is _quite_ a nice change, _Severus_." With that, she left the man, whose hand was slowly rising to gingerly touch his reddened cheek.

A/N: Hahaha! Hope you liked this one! It's decidedly feisty, but I thought it would be nice to change things up a little and give Severus more of a chase. Hermione's not supposed to be too easy to woo. Anyways, make sure to review! Thanks!

Next Chapter: Cranny


	12. Cranny

Disclaimer: Once again, I repeat that the rights of ownership are beyond my reach.

A/N: Hi everyone! I decided to update really quickly this time! Maybe it will continue at this pace, or something close to it, if you review! If you hadn't noticed, this chapter and the last one are sort of companions, as I named the first one nook and the second one cranny. This time, though, Severus is the one cornered, well, kind of. Heheheh. Anyways, thank you for the reviews! I've almost got a hundred on this story! They mean a lot to me! Please continue!

Flabbergasted

Part 12: Cranny

Severus walked through the halls. Well, it was more like swooping through the halls, according to some of his students. There was no way they would ever remark about his billowing robes though; not to his face, anyways. In a decidedly passable mood, he only deducted five points from a student who was being particularly loud on his way by. Seriously though, was there no such thing as deference to the Potions Master?

He continued on his way, innocently (for once) heading towards the Headmaster's office, when he was yanked unceremoniously into a particularly dark and dank cranny of Hogwarts castle. Blinking rapidly as he reached for his wand, which mysteriously wasn't there, he waited for his eyes to adjust to the dim light. He'd hex the little cretin…

"I don't suppose it was you who managed to slip a potion into my drink this morning, eh, _Severus_?" He knew that voice, and almost gave in to the creeping shiver running down his spine. The tone of her voice did not sound very endearing. Eyes finally adjusted, Severus noticed his wand in her hand, and tried not to gulp. She casually rolled the thin ebony wand between her fingers, but he knew better than to relax. This woman was a warrior; albeit a retired one at the moment, but a warrior, none-the-less.

"Miss Granger, are you implying I spiked your drink? I believe you are. How…disappointing." He went on, sarcasm leaking into his words. "Why is it that every time a potion is involved, everyone looks to me as being the culprit? I should just retire. My wand, please." He held out his hand while giving her a pointed look, hoping she would actually believe him.

"I think not. If I want to get a confession out of you, it won't be got with this in your possession." Severus knew now (as he had before he spoke) that there was no way he could leave without affirming that he was indeed the perpetrator. But maybe, if he could somehow distract her…

He looked her up and down, and smirked. It shouldn't be too hard. He gradually inched closer to her, unnoticeably, as she was still annoyed at him.

She eventually noticed, but only when her back was against the wall. "S-Severus…what are you doing?" Her eyes were wide in surprise, not knowing what to expect from the man who had turned her intentions around. No doubt she was confused by this turnabout.

Severus surveyed her face, and seeing no resistance, he had no trouble giving into his wants. He bent slightly and kissed her.

Unlike their passionate explorations on Christmas Eve, this kiss was light, teasing. He barely brushed his lips against hers, and yet he could feel the loosened energy strike him like lightning. It was almost like the storm he had watched after their encounter in her seventh year, rushing through his body. He almost forgot the main reason for this diversion.

Putting a little more pressure on her lips, he reached his hand out, and found that his wand was barely kept from falling to the ground. He gently pulled it from her grasp, while his other hand smoothly wrapped around her waist to draw her closer. Smirking slightly, he backed off when she started to respond with pressure, and she followed after his lips with hers, her eyes closed. When she realized she couldn't find his lips anymore, her eyes opened slightly, only to see a full-blown smirk.

His ego stroked for the day, and half wanting to continue where they left off, Severus pulled away from her, waiting for her to notice that he now had his wand back. It took her a few moments, and he couldn't help but feel smug. Who knew he had it in him?

"This isn't over." She declared and left the cranny, her legs wobbling a bit.

"Indeed," he intoned silkily. Now it was time for _his_ parting shot, even though she was the one leaving. "I have to say that a bit of color on _your_ face is quite nice as well, _Hermione_."

He couldn't resist a chuckle as he saw the temporarily blue-skinned woman stalk off with a huff.

A/N: I decided to make the two chapters go together in more than just name. I think it turned out pretty well. And, finally, there is another kiss, although this was mostly for distraction. Too bad. Well, there are still plenty of chapters to go, so don't be worried. Thanks for reading my story, and please review!

Next Chapter: Books


	13. Books

Disclaimer: You should know by now that I don't own anything but the plot.

A/N: I now have over a hundred reviews on this story! Thanks to everyone who helped in that number. I hope that everyone is enjoying reading this story as much as I am in writing it. Continue to review! Maybe I'll get two hundred soon!

Flabbergasted

Chapter 13: Books

Severus read intently from his book about potion misuse, his eyebrow lifting in interest at some of the more gruesome pictures. This was definitely one from the Restricted Section. Little did he know that he was currently being spied on. Two brown eyes peeped out from a crack between books to the left of where he was sitting.

A few minutes later, the noise of a chair sliding across the floor caught the potions master's attention, and he looked up to see Professor Granger pulling back a chair diagonally from him. He glanced at her choice of reading and snorted. "Rubbish," he muttered.

"What was that, Professor Snape?" He saw that her eyes had narrowed challengingly.

"The book you are about to read is rubbish. For a more informative book on Transfiguration, I would look to Lathsby." With that, Severus went back to his book, though he wasn't as concentrated on it as before.

"For your information, I have already read all of Lathsby's books on Transfiguration theory, and many other more informed publications. That is why I am reading this. I haven't read it before, and I don't have any more grading to do for the weekend. I might as well," She replied with a sniff.

"But really, Lockhart? Wasn't his area of expertise household spells? Or wait, was it memory charms? I've quite forgotten." There was no mistaking the glint in Severus' eye. He caught a glimpse of surprised laughter in his companion's eyes as well, before she hid it and replied.

"Ha ha, very funny. You should know that he is starting to recover nicely. They're expecting him to leave the hospital within the next three years. He'd have a nurse living with him, of course, but that's something."

"That's absolutely…groundbreaking…" This was said in a droll tone, that spoke of just how interested in Gilderoy Lockhart Severus Snape was. Each went back to reading their respective books.

A few minutes passed, and Severus became engrossed once again in his book, when he felt something lightly hit his nose. Looking away from his book, he discovered a tiny bit of crumpled parchment on the table that was not there previously. He glanced suspiciously at Granger, who looked to be innocently reading her book.

He couldn't help but noticed how pretty (he shuddered as he thought the word) the woman looked, surrounded by what was most likely her haven.

Never mind that. Severus shook his thoughts from his head and picked up the crumpled piece of paper and examined it. It was blank. Shaking his head, he went back to his book, though he still held the paper in his hand.

There it was again! He felt the light tap against the side of his face that only a tiny bit of crumpled paper could cause, and found said paper once again on the table top. Snarling silently, he glared at Granger, who continued to read her book quite intently. There was no doubt of who was causing this. After all, no one could be that interested in what the daft idiot managed to write.

Digging surreptitiously in his pocket, he pulled out a bit of parchment and silently started to tear it to bits under the table, all the while pretending to read. Soon enough he had a whole pile of crumpled paper in his hand. Pulling out his wand, he wordlessly shot a spell at them, and sat back to watch the entertainment.

A smirk grew on his face as he watched Granger get pelted by the little pieces of paper, swatting at them and looking around bemusedly, before seeing his smirk and glaring. With a twitch of her wand, the bits of paper became inanimate once again, and Severus felt a particularly thick book thump him across the back of the head.

His hand came up to rub the abused spot as he watched her leave the library. He looked down at the book that was spelled to abuse him, and saw the sparkly letters and a particularly conceited man smiling up at him from its cover. Well, he supposed that Lockhart's book could be useful in some way.

A/N: This was a particularly weird interaction between the two, but I think it endears the characters more to each other and to the reader, so I decided to write it. I hope you liked it, and there will be more mushiness to come! Review please!

Next Chapter: Crookshanks


	14. Crookshanks

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own anything but the plot I put these poor helpless characters in.

Flabbergasted

Chapter 14: Crookshanks

Hermione woke up to a pounding at her portrait door. Disoriented, she cast a Tempus spell, and found that it was two o'clock in the morning. Wondering who could be so rude as to knock on the portrait (The subjects of said portraits were awfully sensitive, and preferred that they be asked to alert the owner of the room for permission to open.), she groggily crawled from her warm bed and wrapped a dressing gown over her night shirt. She opened the portrait (the animagus who resided in it was gone by now.) to find a disgruntled Severus Snape holding up a very furry orange cat by its scruff. Its squashed face looked just as irritated, and Hermione knew from experience that he was bound to wreak vengeance once let loose. She decided it was best to placate the half-kneazle before that happened.

"Oh Crookshanks!" She quickly took the cat from the Potions Master, petting down the long fur that was puffed out in indignation. The cat settled a little, pleased to finally be out of that undignified grasp he had been in before. Hermione made sure he was comfortably situated before she raised her gaze once again to the potions master, who had been observing her quietly. "What happened?"

She saw a sneer crawl across his face before he explained, "That monster decided it would be fun to sneak into my rooms and make himself at home. He managed to not only cover half my wardrobe in orange hair," at this, he pulled his robes away from his body, to emphasize the hairs covering him, "but also pounced on me in my sleep. I don't know about your reflexes, but mine are still honed for war, and nothing is worse than being surprised in my sleep. That blasted thing was lucky I stopped hexing after one spell, and quick enough to dodge it."

Hermione blinked and looked down once again at her familiar. The half-kneazle had an expression bordering on smug. "I'm sure he didn't mean any harm by it. Maybe he likes you." To this, both looked at her incredulously. Hermione stifled a chuckle. It was way too early for this. "Why don't you come in for a quick bit of tea? I'm sure it'll help both of us." Opening her portrait door a bit wider, she allowed him to enter. Gesturing for him to sit on her couch, she felt slightly awkward. This was the first time a man had been in her quarters. Not even Harry or Ron had been free from Auror training enough to visit yet.

"What do you prefer?" To this, Severus shrugged and gestured for her to choose. "Earl Gray it is, then." With that, she turned to her mini kitchen and got started on it. "I hate to wake the elves for something as simply got as tea," She said in explanation. Turning around, she noticed that Severus and Crookshanks were having a stare-down, the tension between them palpable. She walked over and picked the squashed-faced kneazle up and carried him to the kitchenette. It's good that it's a Saturday, she thought, as she yawned widely. When the tea was done, she set her cat down and brought it to the coffee table in front of the couch.

"I would have provided some sustenance to go along with the tea, but I don't have any, and, like I said, I'd rather not wake the house elves." Severus nodded in understanding to this and took the cup she handed him, sighing into it.

"Thank you," He muttered, and Hermione could barely believe he had said it.

"You're welcome." They sat in silence for a while on the couch, both on opposite ends, and Hermione felt that the atmosphere wasn't quite as awkward as before. She smiled into her cup. After a few minutes, Severus placed his back on the tea tray and stood, preparing to leave. Hermione put hers down and stood as well. They looked at one another for a few seconds, and Severus went to say something, while backing away to get around the coffee table, when an unholy sound rang through the room.

Startled, this caused Severus to stumble forward, tripping on an unseen Crookshanks and tackling Hermione onto the floor between the couch and coffee table.

"Oof!" She managed to say, thankful that her living room floor was thickly carpeted. She blinked up at Severus, whose eyes were quite wide at the moment. After a moment, he completely relaxed his body, tucking his face into her hair and neck.

"It's too early," He grumped, and Hermione couldn't help the shiver that ran through her as his warm breath warmed her neck. He became still, and then…was he sniffing her? Hermione felt a red hot blush flood her face. He was! Soon enough, it wasn't just sniffing he was doing either. She felt him nuzzle her neck with his nose, and then place a light kiss on it. At that, she couldn't help the sharp intake of breath, which he no doubt felt and heard.

He lifted off her a bit, his eyes examining her expression and most likely noting the bright blush on her face. His eyes now seemed to be quite sharp for it being two-thirty in the morning. To her surprise, he brought he face back down to the side of her neck, and she felt his arms encircle her as he moved half-way off her body. She didn't have to wonder for long what he was doing, as she felt his lips once again against her neck. She shuddered and couldn't help her own arms from wrapping around him.

As she accepted him through her actions, the feather-light pressure of his lips changed, and soon she was gasping and wriggling at what he was doing to her neck. He gripped her to him, trying to hold her still as he ravished her. "Severus…" She sighed, and he moaned into her. Suddenly, his moan turned into a yelp, and he rolled off of her to look down at his ankle, which was being attacked with tooth and claw through his pants.

Hermione, still a little dazed at what had just transpired, scolded, "Crookshanks! Bad boy!" She unsteadily got to her feet and pulled the kneazle into her arms, carrying him to her room and shutting the door after him. She walked back to where Severus was now sitting on the carpet between her couch and coffee table, an unusual look on his face. The blush that had left with the shock of her cat's actions came back with a vengeance.

She watched as Severus stood, using the couch as a support, and he soon faced her, unruffled but for the orange cat hair all over his person. She smiled, and he smirked back, turning to walk towards the portrait door. Hermione followed him and opened it for him.

"Goodnight, Hermione," He said softly, leaning down for a light kiss.

"Goodnight," She sighed as she watched him stalk down the corridor, no doubt heading back to his rooms. She shut her portrait, before the animagus that had returned to it could have anything to say to her, and leaned against the inside of it. Maybe she should let Crookshanks loose more often, if she got such good company out of it.

A/N: Hey everyone! Hope you liked it! Poor abused Crookshanks! Hahaha…Anyways, please review! I want to see how fast I can get to two hundred reviews! Lol.

Next Chapter: Visit


	15. Visit

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I just use them for everyone's enjoyment.

A/N: Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I realized, as I was looking over this story last night, that it has been almost a year and one month since I started it! Yay! Anyways, I thank you all for the support you show through your reviews, and invite you to write many more! Now on to the story! Enjoy!

Flabbergasted

Chapter 15: Visit

Severus growled over his food.

Minerva raised her eyebrow. "Severus, it is rude to act like a beast at the table. Be as close to polite as you possibly can. We have distinguished guests." This caused the man to snort, which was not much of an improvement. She mentally rolled her eyes, "Let us all enjoy their company while we can. Aurors are busy, and it was wonderful that they could visit even during their months of training."

The only answer she got to this was the sound of a chair scraping back, as Severus abruptly left. "What a Neanderthal," She muttered.

Severus couldn't help feeling a bit cornered. He didn't know quite yet how he stood with Hermione yet. This was not the best time for her friends to visit, one of which was known to have a crush on her at one point in time. He had watched, disgruntled, as she laughed and joked with them at the Gryffindor table where they chose to sit. He couldn't stand to watch anymore after he saw her pick a piece of food from the redhead's hair. He had to get some air.

He stepped out into a nearby courtyard and breathed in deep, hoping to clear his heart of the jealousy he was feeling at the moment. It didn't work, so he briskly paced around the courtyard, sometimes pausing to study the statuary, anything to get his mind under a semblance of control. Hermione wouldn't appreciate him dragging her off to who knows where in a fit of selfishness.

After a fruitless half hour, he stalked back into the castle and towards his rooms, glad he didn't see any students on his way. They would know he was unhappy. Just as he had reached the entrance of the dungeons in the great hall, the formerly known "Golden Trio" walked in from the front doors.

"Hey! It's Snape!" The redhead had to point out the obvious.

"Severus! Where have you been? I've been meaning to talk to you." Severus turned to see Hermione smile, but made sure to keep a neutral front on in front of the enemy. He didn't even dignify the boy with a glance.

"I find that I suddenly have a headache," He drawled, observing that Potter was actually quiet for once. Maybe the brat had grown up a bit.

"Oh, well, I hope you feel better." She looked a bit dismayed, and Severus felt a little better. He nodded and disappeared to his sanctuary. Not too quickly for him to hear the following conversation, though.

"_Severus_?"

"It's his name, isn't it?"

He couldn't help the smirk that graced his face at that.

A few hours later, he was found to be trudging up the dungeon steps, as his presence was necessary for dinner. Never mind that he wished he was anywhere else.

The trio decided to sit at the head table this time, and Severus was gratified that Hermione had sat next to him, but not so pleased that Weasley was on the other side of her. The imbecile kept trying to get her attention, talking through mouthfuls of food. Severus could hardly keep his own down, while watching that show, so he contented himself with looking anywhere else and listening intently to their conversation.

"So, 'Mione, what are you planning on doing this weekend? I was wondering if we might go get some drinks together or something. And there's a nice little quiddich game going on Saturday for the Aurors. Just a bit of sport to break the monortomy." Severus almost snorted at this. Hermione covered her mouth with her napkin, but he could still see her eyes crinkle as she tried not to laugh.

"First of all, Ron, My name is Hermione, not 'Mione or Hermy or Herms, or whatever else you can come up with. Second, you know I don't drink, and I've never loved quiddich. Also, it's monotony, not monortomy. I thank you for the invitation, but I have plans for this weekend." Hermione smiled to soften the blow.

Ron looked dumbstruck. It was as though he could not wrap his head around the fact that not everyone liked quiddich. He nodded in understanding, but looked a bit like he pitied her. Then he went back to eating, and Severus had to once again avert his gaze, which he hadn't quite noticed was straying before. He didn't want to be called a nosy old biddy.

Soon enough, Hermione was done eating, and stood up, Weasley rising like a faithful dog to follow. "Ron, why don't you and Harry go play quiddich this afternoon? It is your day off, and I won't mother you about studying for your Auror exams next month, so go have some fun. You know that my idea of fun is completely different. I might just be in the library." Weasley looked a little wilted, but the thought of missing out on any chance at quiddich was enough to buoy him.

"Won't you watch us?" Hermione shook her head, but smiled again, and Severus felt a ping of jealousy before he directed his gaze once more to his food. He really needed to control himself. "I suppose Harry and I can round up a couple of Cleansweeps from the broom closet then. We'll come see you again before we leave." They hugged, and Severus clenched his utensil tightly to prevent him from doing anything untoward.

After the boys had gone, he still felt Hermione's presence next to him, but chose to continue looking at his food, even though he wasn't so hungry anymore. So, Weasley was trying to get a little too friendly? That was just great. He heard Hermione sigh, and she left through the staff door. All of a sudden, he felt a serious need to go to the library.

Thirty minutes later, sauntering through the aisles of books, he came upon her, slouched against one of the shelves in the restricted section. He observed what she was reading with raised eyebrows. "Not planning on doing that to someone, are you?" Hermione snapped the book closed and a tint of red graced her upper cheeks. "I have to warn you, before you do, that you might have the chance to be very well acquainted with the inside of Azkaban were you to get caught."

"I was only curious." She replied, and that was the end of that conversation. She studied him for a while from the ground, and eventually smiled. "I didn't think you'd come."

Severus raised an eyebrow, "Trying a bit of Slytherin tactics now, are you?"

She sighed, "Is it sad that I would rather go to the library than hang out with my two friends that I haven't seen in months?"

"This isn't something you should ask me, as I have a particular bias, and you already know the answer," He smirked down at her before offering a hand up, which she gratefully took.

When they were both standing, she studied him once more, and he began to feel uncomfortable. She then smiled slightly, as if she had solved some great mystery. "There's no need to be jealous of Ron, Severus. I realized we weren't good for each other long ago. Besides, he has the worst table manners. The woman who can eat three times a day with him must be a saint."

Severus was a bit surprised that she had noticed how he felt. Was he that obvious? Well, he didn't feel too bad that it was out in the open, now that he had nothing to worry about. That pillock had no chance with Hermione, and that made Severus very satisfied indeed.

It seemed Hermione wasn't done either. "I'm quite a bit more interested in the mysterious type. You know, the kind with dark looks and a sexy voice." She gave him a once over, and his jaw almost dropped. Then she flounced out of the library, leaving him among the stacks.

Next Chapter: Lake


	16. Lake

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I only own the plot I put these poor characters through.

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this out. I hope you enjoy it and review, and I will be putting the next chapter up within the week to make up for it! Thanks again! Review!

Flabbergasted

Chapter 16: Lake

Hermione trudged down to the edge of the lake, gazing around. Aha! There he was. A lone and dreary looking figure on that cold autumn day, he stood gazing pensively into the water. Every few seconds, a lazy tentacle would rise from the surface, as if the Giant Squid were continuously waving hello. To humor herself, Hermione waved back. She continued her journey, which led her to stand next to the man. He didn't seem surprised at her presence.

"I thought you had plans this weekend." He mentioned. Knowing it was the Slytherin way of asking for information, she went along with it.

"I do. That doesn't mean they take me out of the castle." He nodded in agreement. "Besides, what would you do for the two days without me? Stare into the lake all day and then stare into the fire all night?" He snorted.

"If you want to know, I am not out here to contemplate the mysteries of life at the moment. I came to collect a certain potions ingredient from the edge of the lake, but it seems to have been eaten up, no doubt by some pesky rodent. I shall have to go to town this weekend."

Hermione clapped her hands together in excitement. "Can I come? I haven't been to town in ages!"

Severus nodded, watching her enthusiasm with amusement.

Hermione cleared her throat. Maybe that was a bit too enthusiastic. She smiled to herself. It never did anyone any harm to be happy. Catching Severus' amused expression, something devious popped into her head. She debated on carrying out this dastardly scheme, and decided that, in the end, he would forgive her. She stepped closer to him.

Severus' expression turned expressionless when he noticed her stepping closer. He seemed wary. For a good reason, too, Hermione inwardly cackled. "What are you doing this evening?" She asked, to put him off his guard. It seemed to work, as he relaxed a little, and she made sure not to invade too much into his personal boundaries.

"I thought the suggestion of staring into the lake and then staring into the fire was quite a relaxing way to spend my time." He replied sarcastically.

"How about a swim instead?"

Before he could stutter out more than a "Wha?" he was pushed unceremoniously into the lake. To save some of his dignity, he managed to drag Hermione down into the water with him. She squealed before both hit the water with a great splash.

Coming up for air and sputtering, Hermione decided it wasn't such a brilliant plan after all in retrospect. She walked back up the shore, Severus' sputtering sounding behind her.

"What in Merlin's name were you thinking, Hermione!" He managed around a bit of water plant sliding down his face. Hermione chuckled as she rung the water out of her hair. He looked like a drowned bat, his robes clinging and trying to pull him back into the lake with their weight as he struggled ashore.

Finally, he had reached her side, and she tried to smile apologetically. It didn't seem to be working, so she kissed him on the cheek, which definitely caused a reaction. His face was a mixture of shock and pleasure.

"Why don't we find that fire you planned on staring into for hours on end and dry off?"

He nodded and followed her up to the castle. They both chuckled at his reply.

"As long as you don't throw me into it as well."

Next Chapter: Ball


	17. Ball

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Too bad…

A/N: I've been working on a lot of projects at one time, including two one-shots that I think will be great, and another chapter for Hogwarts, Matchmaker, which I have severely neglected. I hope you will forgive me for the wait and enjoy all the goodies I'm sending your way! P.S. Review! I love it!

Flabbergasted

Chapter 17: Ball

Severus shook off a pesky cupid with a curse and quickly shoved it back through the door he had just exited. He made sure to slam said door, wand still out in case another of the winged hellions had escaped to haunt him. Seeing that he was relatively unscathed, if not sound of mind, he let out a sigh of relief.

"Hello Severus."

This would have made the Potions Master jump if he had not learned to control his reflexes years ago, and he turned to see Hermione leaning against the wall of the castle a few feet away. He nodded in acknowledgement, meanwhile appreciating the gown she was wearing. He had seen her when she first arrived at the Hogwarts Valentine's Ball, and was glad to be across the room, as his tongue had immediately tied. There was nothing much different about the front of her dress from others, but when she had turned to speak with another teacher, Severus' brain had stuttered. Her back was bare to his fervent gaze. Never had he seen a dress of that make before, and, with Hermione wearing it, he was visually seduced. It must have been a Muggle dress.

Even without the cut of the dress, he was delighted to see her in his color: black. As she moved to the balcony to look out on the grounds, He heard the sound of the silk shifting. Finally he decided to speak.

"There is no need to wonder about why I'm not enjoying the … festivities, but I must wonder why you are missing from them?" Severus made sure to put a healthy serving of sarcasm into the rather tame word he used to describe the garish and repulsive event taking place behind the doors he recently vacated. He walked towards her and stood close, gazing but out but not seeing the grounds before him.

"Seeing as I have only ever been to one other ball in my life, and that it was almost under duress, why do you think I should like this one?" She softened her answer with a smile, and he gazed curiously at her.

"Under duress? Krum forced you to go with him?"

"Well, not quite, though he was very persistent. I didn't even want to go with anyone, much less be there at the time, but then Ron made a comment about using me as a last resort, so I told him I was already going with someone. The next time Krum asked me, I agreed. At least he knew how to dance."

Severus snorted, "That is probably one of the only things they teach at Durmstrang that is not sinister."

Hermione laughed, "I don't know. Some of them looked a bit intimidating." She smiled at him again, and he couldn't keep the left corner of his mouth from lifting in response. Suddenly though, the smile was gone, and a bit of nervousness overshadowed her features. "I, ah, have something for you."

Severus raised an eyebrow, but waited, while she pulled something out from one of the folds in the side of her dress, and her wand from another fold. Seeing his look, she chuckled, "I charmed little pockets into my dress. There is no way I'm going to an event like this without a wand, and there's no way I'm going to stick it down my bra. It would be embarrassing to have to pull it out if I needed it in front of all the students."

Severus nodded, but was still amused by her practical thinking. Only she would think in detail about such things. He watched as she used her wand to enlarge the object, and noticed it was a deep scarlet in color. His face wanted to turn that color when he saw that it was distinctly heart-shaped, and he couldn't manage to keep a tinge of red from his cheeks. Hermione had managed to turn redder still, but she seemed determined to go on with this. Severus didn't know what to do. He'd never received a valentine before. He just stood there and watched while she opened the box.

She pulled out what looked to be a bon bon, though Severus wasn't sure, as he'd never had one before. It looked to be milk chocolate. He looked back at her face, not sure what to do. She grinned, her nerves seeming to have evaporated.

"I thought you could do with a little cheering up before descending upon the rule-breakers while patrolling tonight. I noticed you're not averse to chocolate after dinner," She hesitated, then in a move that shocked him, thrust the chocolate towards his mouth. He stared at it, almost going cross-eyed, before looking back at her.

"Open up," Hermione couldn't keep a smirk from crossing her face.

Severus hesitated, and then opened his mouth, looking into her eyes. He couldn't believe it. Hermione Granger was hand feeding him chocolate. He couldn't help but relish the taste of it, his eyelids drooping. He had always been a bit obsessed with chocolate, but always restrained himself during meals. Hermione must have caught on to his covetous looks every time a chocolate cake appeared before him during dinner. He knew the elves were certainly taunting him. Still, he would only allow himself a thin slice before leaving for the dungeons and escaping temptation.

Having Hermione feed him chocolate seemed too good to be true, so his opportunistic nature came to the fore. He took the chocolate box from her and picked one out, pressing it against her lips and watching as she took it, her eyes not leaving his face. He swallowed.

Then he placed the box on the balcony next to them and replaced the chocolate with his lips. It was just as good, if not better, and he pulled her close as he tasted the chocolate from her mouth. She shuddered and wrapped her arms around him, and he couldn't keep his hands from finally roving across her bare back. It seemed a sensory overload, the feel of her soft skin, the taste of chocolate, the smell of her hair, and the background noise of muted frivolity mixed with the night sounds. Eyes closed, he reveled in the experience, not thinking, just doing and feeling. This had to be the best Valentine's Day ever, hands down.

Eventually, they remembered that they were not too far from discovery, but that didn't stop them from staying out on the balcony, enjoying the peace and taking pleasure in each other's company.

Soon the ball had ended, and they joined the other teachers in escorting the students to their respective houses, warning them that punishments for breaking curfew would be no less severe.

Severus was pleasantly surprised to see Hermione while doing his rounds, and she headed toward him with a gleam in her eye. As discretion was the better part of valor, or whatever that old phrase was, Severus ushered her to an empty classroom before they carried on where they had left off on the balcony. He made sure to slip a chocolate in beforehand.

Minutes later, she pulled away reluctantly, and he gazed down at her dazedly. "Happy Valentine's Day, Severus." She smiled softly and he wondered if he had ever seen something more affecting to his heart than that.

"It has been. Thank you Hermione." He gave her one more sweet kiss before they left the class room and took opposite directions. Severus couldn't help the little smile he felt as he paced the dark halls of Hogwarts.

Next Chapter: Asking


	18. Date

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but the plot is all my own.

A/N: There are no excuses good enough for the amount of time it's been since I last wrote, so I'll just leave it at that. I'm sorry, and I hope you enjoy this continuation.

Flabbergasted

Chapter 18: Date

Severus watched cautiously from where he sat as Hermione hacked various potions ingredients to bits across from him. True, she was doing it the right way, but the vigor with which she carried on did not give the impression of a stable mind. He hoped she wasn't angry at him. He subtly crossed his legs, just in case.

She had seemed very enthusiastic when he had invited her last week to help him brew some potions in his private laboratory. Seeing this, he couldn't help but come up with other ways to be together with her throughout the past few days: Collecting various mosses from the lakeside, cataloging ingredients in the storeroom together…

Things had been going well, and Severus had no clue as to why she was so temperamental at the moment. He wondered if Weasley had come by and set her off again. Just the thought of that brought a dark scowl to his face. Hermione huffed and he turned his head to see her breathing heavily from the … thoroughness of her ingredient preparation. He raised a questioning eyebrow at her, and her little frown turned into a pout.

He blinked. He'd never seen the woman actually pout before. Maybe he should find out what happened to her.

"Weasley hasn't … dropped by, has he?"

His question caused a muscle to twitch in her cheek, and he pretended he suddenly had to find something he'd left on his desk, rushing across the room and conveniently placing said object between them in case she happened to explode.

"I'm almost wishing he had. At least I'd be on the receiving end of _some_ affection."

Severus growled, "What, exactly, are you trying to say?"

"I'm _saying_ that I've been treated more like an apprentice than someone you wish to be romantically involved with at the moment. I'm flattered, really, that you'd trust me enough to invite me into your personal lab, but I was expecting a bit more action than stirring cauldrons and chopping various creatures into bits."

Severus frowned, not knowing how he should feel at the moment, and Hermione saw his confusion. She scowled and stomped over to his desk, slamming her hand down on it, startling Severus enough to make him plop undignified into his seat.

"I'm asking you to take me on a proper date, for Merlin's sake!"

She sighed and rubbed a hand down her face.

Half muttering to herself, half explaining, she said, "Witches aren't supposed to be so forward, but I can't help it. After three weeks, is a girl just supposed assume that a man still likes her because he's kissed her before?" She stopped pacing and faced him. Severus held back his urge to gulp nervously at the determination in her gaze. She pointed at him.

"You are going to ask me out on a date, and it won't, in any way, shape, or form, involve potions ingredients!" With that, she walked out of the lab, leaving behind a very shocked potions master.

Next Chapter: Dining out


	19. Dining Out

Disclaimer: I am not the owner of the characters.

Flabbergasted

Chapter 19: Dining Out

Hermione fiddled nervously with the linen napkin in her lap. Now that she'd gotten to this point, she was at a loss as to what should happen next. Severus Snape was sitting across from her, in a nice restaurant, with candles. No doubt the sky would fall at any moment.

She observed her partner, absorbed as he was with his menu, something she should be doing at the moment. He looked well-groomed, and it appeared he wasn't wearing quite so many layers as usual. He looked particularly handsome in the candlelight.

He looked up from his menu at her and she quickly ducked behind her own, silently admonishing herself. Gryffindors weren't supposed to be shy!

She hurriedly picked something from the menu when she noticed their waiter arrive with their drinks. Murmuring her thanks and placing her order, she bravely looked to her date as the waiter left. He smirked as though he knew how she was feeling at the moment.

"I like it, you know," he said quietly, but it broke the tension in the air and caused Hermione to flinch slightly in surprise.

"What?" She inwardly cringed at how brainless she sounded.

"That you're forward," he said, and she was reminded of the week before, when she'd lost patience in him and demanded he take her on a date.

She couldn't believe he'd find such a brash Gryffindor trait to be admirable, and threw him a skeptical look. Severus caught her expression and smirked. He leaned forward, as if about to give away vital information, and Hermione unconsciously mirrored his actions.

"Slytherins are all about subterfuge and detail. It is refreshing to be around someone who is more willing to get to the point of the matter. I find it especially … appealing, coming from you."

Hermione stared at him.

"Really," She said in a monotone voice, as if still doubting him.

He smirked and raised an eyebrow at her temerity.

She smiled back, more assured.

"Really?" She inflected the same word with overtures and undertones that Severus would no doubt be able to pick up. If that wasn't enough, her bare foot rubbing up and down his calf under their cloth-covered table would bring the point home.

"Quite," he said, clearing his throat as if belatedly trying to cover the fact that his voice sounded an octave higher than usual. "Carry on."

Next Chapter: Boundaries


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